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I Am In Love

What’s your definition of being in love? That was the question I asked users on Instagram.
Some of the answers I received were: 

  • Awesome.
  • When almost nothing can upset you anymore.
  • Feeling butterflies in your belly.
  • Waking up with that stupid smile on your face.
  • The best f*cking feeling in the whole world. Beware, it hurts, though.
  • Craving “more” of and with that person.
  • Impatience and nothing can hold you back.

One statement that sticks is: Beware, it hurts, though.

Being in Love! Such an intense experience. It can be heaven on earth, but it also can feel like hell when it’s over.

Can it really be painful?

The majority might say that it hurts. This belief is based on personal past experiences, the stories we hear, or the movies we watch. I’ve also experienced pain from “being in love” many moons ago. I noticed many clients saying it during workshops or mentoring sessions when we try to redefine relationships.

Is it really Love that’s causing the pain, or is it our interpretation of love?

By redefining the experience of BEING IN LOVE, I felt massive relief on my journey to inner peace. I hope that the following words might serve you as well in the same context.

What happens when we ARE IN LOVE?

“Being IN love” is a state of being. It’s not something you do, nor is it something you feel. It is something you are. Therefore it’s called “BEING in Love.”

Being in love equals being fully present. In other words, being aligned with our true selves. It also means that all illusionary problems that are invented by the mind fade away. This state of presence can be inspired by another person, an activity, or by nature itself. Literally, anything can inspire this state of being in us, if we are open enough to allow it.

Why does Being in Love hurt?

The mistake we often make is attaching this experience to be dependent on something outside ourselves. Therefore, we misunderstand the concept of being in love with someone

You are in love with someone in the same way you are with someone in the same room. Both of you share the present moment. It doesn’t mean that you are in Love “to(wards) someone” or because of someone.

It’s a co-created moment, and you can share that presence with anything. Nothing is required to be IN love. It’s entirely up to you. By surrendering to the present moment, you are in love with existence itself. 

Why is it hard to fall in love?

Our attention is merely on avoiding being hurt. These tiny moments of inspiration that might help us to surrender to the present moment pass unnoticed because our mind is busy scanning for possible threats.

What if the pain never came from love itself, but from you resisting falling in love?

What if falling and staying in love is easy?

Who would you be, feel, and behave if the above is true? 

We call it falling in love because you have to surrender by giving up control. Let go of past experiences and jump.

Dare to fall and love will catch you! 

What to say and post when it’s your turn

..and it’s always your turn, how Seth Godin used to say.

What to say when it’s your turn? I have an answer to that question which might also work for you. But I need some lines to make a point.

Most brands have tried Facebook, and it went well for quite a long time. Someday the reach dropped, and they invested more effort into Instagram. Then, everybody stated that video should be THE THING so they started shooting video with a mobile phone, they considered YouTube again and maybe doing some IG & FB Live. Maybe they should go back on Facebook and revise their Paid Ads strategy.

Even though you have tried lots of those tactics, you never had any significant results that led to lasting growth. (been there, done that)

The reason is simple: Clarity is missing!

But clarity is not only about your marketing and business efforts. It’s mostly about your beliefs & your integrity which reflects how you present yourself to the world.

Inner engineering: That’s where the real breakthrough happens.

Being aware of your limiting beliefs is not enough. Leaving the victim mode and taking full responsibility about your life, personally and professionally, doing new things that lead to new experiences will help you to reprogram yourself, to build new habits, to break old patterns. That’s how leveling up looks like.

No budget, no strategy, no tactics, no tech equipment will help you get where you wanna be. Most people don’t look inside themselves because they are afraid to see things they can’t make unseen. The stuff they will have to change that keeps them in their comfort zone. The only thing I can promise you that comes from my experience is that you’ll be surprised how much love awaits you on the other side. You are not alone, even though you might feel that nobody understands you.

Dare to look, then, dare to speak your TRUTH!
That’s what you’re supposed to say when it’s your turn.

Rethink Content-Creation To Maximize Results

With over 80 written articles, over 100 Facebook Live videos, and countless posts and comments on Social Media, I can say with certainty that my best piece of content is NOT that with the most likes or views. Nor did the most popular content attract more leads. What then is content worth creating?

Powerful content demonstrates who you are by inspiring, educating or entertaining people who are like you.

It can’t be measured with the technology that’s available because content-creation is not a silo operation. Powerful content ignites conversations and triggers emotions. One post or one comment at a time. Touching one person at a time. It builds up.

What most businesses do instead is wanting to reach a wider audience by researching what’s hot and trendy and then trying to fit into these trends, one post at a time, again and again, moving farther away from their unique Brand DNA.

Redefining the Purpose of Content

The disappointment of Content Creation (and Social Media in general) starts early because marketers and businesses don’t get out of it what they expected to receive in the first place (e.g. traffic, leads, sales, etc). Like in any relationship, it’s not what you GET OUT of a relationship, but merely what you put INTO a relationship. And if you don’t do that in business, it won’t work.

What is Business? It is finding ways to do more for others than anybody else. It is finding a way to connect and to truly serve. The same rules apply to content creation. If that sounds like common sense, then why do the following questions are being asked over and over again:

“What’s in for us if we create this video?”

“How do we know if it works?”

“Which known brands have done this before?”

“How can we automate Community Management?”

It’s like asking “what’s in for me for being me?”. Well, copying others, following trends and fitting in does NOT work. This has already been demonstrated by other brands.

Being honest and acting with integrity DOES work. This has already been demonstrated as well.

Why, then, do people still follow a path that does not work? They do it for the same reasons they smoke, for the same reasons they use violence to end violence. For the same reasons that people used to do things that deliver short-term gratification.

Trying to be popular, to have a trending article or a viral video serves the ego in one way or another. Sometimes it can be just vanity and sometimes the fear of not being enough. Doing that is not bad at all, it just burns a lot of resources without any significant progress.

In order to embrace this idea and to avoid the trap of fitting in, a shift in mindset is required:

From “How can we reach more people?” to “How can we deliver more value?”

From “Will more people like it?” to “Are we telling the truth?”

How To Measure Success?

For personal brands and small businesses, you can rely on serendipity and gut-feeling. But for large organizations and bigger teams, we need meaningful KPIs.

Quantitative metrics like reach, likes, views, and shares won’t help evaluate our content, simply because we should stop measuring content, and generally all communication and marketing activities, in a silo. If we have a clear answer on what success looks like in our business besides profit and turnover, we can find ways to measure how content is contributing to that success.

How and where to start?

The first step is not to focus on the content itself but on the mindset and the internal narrative of the organization. It’s useful to start seeing others the way you want to be seen, to take the time to connect with people you want to serve, instead of interrupting them and forcing your products and services on them.

Everything you put out there is more or less addressing people who are like you. It’s madness trying to convince people who disagree with you or to reach a wider audience to increase sales. Hence, write articles you would read. Post and share content in a way you would engage with. Your content might be similar to someone else’s content, but your intention and your unique way of putting things into perspective will resonate with the right audience.

Don’t seek a larger audience. Instead, seek opportunities to be in true service. Powerful content does not come in a specific form or through a specific channel. A generous comment on someone else’s work is sometimes enough to make change happen. What if I told you that my most powerful content lies in private messages. Is that content? Or is it just one-to-one communication? What’s the difference anyway? Turning private voice-messages into a podcast is an easy task. But the point is not to reach a bigger audience.

If you have genuinely something to say, there will be someone who genuinely wants to hear it.

-Marianne Williamson

What’s holding you back from showing up in your most authentic way with the intent to serve?

The Connection Process | 14.02.20 | Sofia

How to feel understood and appreciated | Open Discussion at The Cooffice, February 14, 2020